The Life and Times of Alexis

It seems my life has come to another turning point of sorts...sort of.

I think after 2 years at my job, I'm ready to find a new one. Its funny to think that switching to a new job changes your whole life...its just a job, right? But its moving from one group of crazy people to another. And crazy people on a daly basis has an affect on every aspect of your life. Plus, what if I were to change specialties? I've already done it once...changed from working for an Internist to an OBGYN, big change. I barely think about the old people in my life from a few years ago. In fact, Dr Schwarts snuck into my dream last night...completely weird and creepy. In my dream he had aged just as much as you'd expect an ALREADY old looking 47 year old man in 2007 to age in 3 years. A little balder, he was already totaly gray in 2007-so that cant look older, a little more spare tire around his golf t-shirt and belted khaki pants. He was totaly in love with me. Everyone thought so. And occasionally there was the weird awkward moment when he'd bring up sex life, and reproductive organs. Whenever his wife would stop by to visit, it was always an odd feeling around the office...like he couldnt full be himself when she visited. I wonder who he's moved onto now.
---ok, have to stop....this paragaph is getting too long---new paragraph for no reason!...---
Before me, there was another girl...a girl he was so obsessed with even after she was gone, that he kept a picture on the fridge of her in the back room. it was always there, even when his wife stopped by. He always made a joke of everything...probably so he wouldnt ever come across as a total stalker-but there were done wweeeeiiird fucking occasions. There was one night when he called me to find out how my date went with a guy I had met. Why are you calling me on a night that I'm not working, so you could talk to me? I bet he jerked off thinking about me. Ewl...he definitely did. I bet he jerked off right in his office upstairs from the examining rooms. He always said that he'd come to the office on weekends to watch football games and stuff because his wife hated it. But I bet that he also came there to watch porn and jerk off away from him wife.
EWL-I bet he fucked his wife in his office too. Not while anyone was there...but ewl, suddenly his upstairs office is going from office to creepy sex room-I worry for whoever is there now. OH MY GOD! He also had a shower and bathtub in that upstairs bathroom in his office. Ew ew..must stop thinking about this. Now I have this image of Larry David, in the upstairs bathroom, jerking off in the shower, thinking of me. Ew ew...Dr Schwartz was sooooo Larry David-spitting image!
I'd totaly write his whole name on here, since I dont work for him anymore...and let his patients and people googling the name find all this written...except....I could also see HIM googling himself. Maybe googling "Dr. D**** G. Schwartz and Larry David"...then he'd probably find this posting somehow...and I bet it would get him off to see me white this crap.
Blech. That whole rant creeped me out. New topic. Ha, Oh where was I?

Anyways...so back to turning points. My relationship with my boyfriend has gotten serious. Its weird, you know-the first year of living together didn't feel serious. I mean, it still felt very boyfriend/girlfriend, but after a year, I really feel like 'ok, it appears that you and I may really be spending the rest of our lives together.' And I think only recently it really hit him too. Something in his behavior has changed. Less of the feeling that the word "marriage" is off limits to say. Seriously talking about where we want to move to together. Its such a strange feeling when that happens-it feels more adult...and with each day, I'm trying harder and harder play naive. Bills, work, car payments, tickets, going a few too many days without having sex. Is this adulthood? Its true, there was a large chunk of my life where sex was all I wanted, alll the time...but even that doesnt seem to be holding true for me anymore. Is it my Effexor? Has it finally gone from affective to defective? Is it a brain developement thing?...I always thought our brains were done developing around 24 or so...but maybe not? Maybe things change all along. Maybe its part of the life progression? You know, Infant, toddler, child, adolescence, teen, young adult, adult, mother, retiree, grandmother, elderly?
I guess I'm somewhere between that adult and mother area. Not quite ready for "mother" per se, but maybe I'm starting to come to the end of just being an adult? I dont know...it makes no sense. I just sometimes worry that somehow I'l loose that weirdness, the quirkiness, those oddities that make me who I am.
...And then at the same time, I question how a REAL adult is suppose to behave aldultlike, but also like a complete idiot. Am I going to turn into the Weird Al of motherhood? Possibly, if I continue the way I am. But thats what I love most about me, and I think thats what most people love about me...aside from Dr Duncan. I dont know how much of my weirdness is how I have always been, and what might have added to it from my Traumatic Brain Injury. Was I this weird pre-car accident? I cant remember. I cant remember much of who I ws at all back before then. I feel as thought something in my mind has changed though since the accident. My mom says she sees it too. But was it the TBI, or would I have just changed this way as I aged no matter what? A lot has changed in the past 4 years, the whole way I view relationships, the whole way I view my family, the whole way I view responsilibity....are these natural life changes? I mean, if it werent for the accident-would my parents be getting a divorce? I dont blame myself...I just wonder the what-ifs. And then, if they hadnt gotten divorced, would I be as cynical as I am now about marriage, and cheating, and splitting up lives? When Blakes parents divorced...from my angle, it looked so easy. But now living it, its not. I mean, Blakes situation was different than mine though, Blakes mom kept the house, her dad moved to a nearby town in a beautiful appt. A little different than the way things worked out for my family. Sold the house cause they couldnt afford it anymore, dad downgraded to a small college point apartment, mom is in an apt thats about 1/4 the size of the house i grew up in...and both my parents are not doing well financially. Weird.
I guess you cant wonder "what if?", its a dangerous route to follow. You could end up depressing yourself...A LOT, believe me..i've done it. Thank god for Valium, right?

So, back to the work thing. I need to change jobs. The management of my office has gotten completely out of control. The office manager acts like shes some important person, like we're all there to serve her. Yo, asshole...you're not a FUCKING doctor, you're a biggot, republican, big mouth, chunky assed, bitch. Of all the girls in my office, none of us have previous experience in a doctors office where the office manager watched you like a hawk, had her own little bubble to work in, and would constantly come in and check on your working. Actually...I lied. Gina, from Elmont Open MRI...Oh what a fucking whore. She was a real asshole. My biggest regret is not saying to her face what I thought about her. Shes was worse than my current office manager. Gina was the fucking devil whore. She had this annoying litle latina accent too, whe'd try to talk all cute too, it made me sick. She would come over to us and ask if we're working "RrrrvvvvRrrrvvvv, like Speedy Gonzales", she thought being cute would make people like her. She fooled some, but not me. I knew that cunt bitch had it out for me about a month into my employment at that place. And when I started becoming friendly with the whole office...as they were merging with another company, she hated that. She hated the company that was taking over HER office, she had worked there for something like 8 years, and they were coming in and giving her orders now-because the owner sold the place to L.I.R.A (Long Island Radiology Assoc.). It was such a joke, I remeber Gina telling me that I had to talk to certain people that worked there in a certain tone...like the owners daughter Emily something? I forget her name, I'd totaly put it in here if I remembered it, what the fuck do I owe these people now? They mae my life miserable and the land-of-internet should be able to know about it.
Gina Gina Gina...Gina Sazzaci? Sassaci? Sasaki? That might be it, her name may have been Gina Sasaki. What a cunt. Anyways, I was trying to be friendly to everyone, I was hired just as the two companies were murging, so why should i hold anything against ANY of the new people I was going to be working with? But Gina reaaaallly wanted me to hate them...and I didnt. I forget who the blonde chick was that was REALLY running the show...these names escape me...and its only been 2 years. Anywho, on one occasion, as a punishment for what Gina refered to as "offending the whole front desk staff, and everyone complains about me and doesnt want to work with me", she stuck me in the billing office...to put together the paperwork for everyone for the day. She put me in a spot facing the wall and told me if I talked to anyone I was in trouble. She wanted me to quit. She was a NAZI. She would sit in her office downstairs and watch me on the camera at the front desk. I'd be pulling at split ends and she'd call me on my extention and whenI'd answer she'd say in her little high pitched FAST speaking Latina accent "Eh,AlexisItIsNotAppropriateToPlayWithYourHairAtTheFrontDesk". And I'd look around like WHAT THE FUCK!? She got a lot of people to dislike me too. This Nicole girl...Nicole Zichichi, she went from pretending to be my best friend the first 2 months working together, she'd call me on the ohone blah blah blah. About 2 weeks before I was fired (which was also the day AFTER Cunty Sasaki stuck me in the corner facing the wall like a 5 yr old), Nicole stops talking to me, ignores me completely. Not just ignores me...the chick pulls a "Jenna" as I like to call it, and acts like shes 5, like she'd laugh and pretend to be having a good time, and she'd look over at me while she was doing it. Like she was trying to shove it in my face. Nevermind the fact that she was like 3 yrs older than me at the time...whacko! So Nicole and Gina joined forces.
After the day of my firing, which I believe was probably a set up, I later found out that Gina got in trouble for going about firing me the way she did, because now that the company was owned by someone else...she had to go through THEM before making any decisions like that.
And within a month of her firing me...Gina was fired as well. SWEET WONDERFUL KARMA.
When I started a new job, I feared Gina so much, that the first thing I did was check the computer to make sure she wasnt a patient there. She lived on the boarder of Great Neck and Little Neck...so it is entirely possible for her to go to an OBGYN in the LIJ area. Fuck it, I hope Gina's uterus rots and falls out of her. Ugh....sooooo soooo regret not going to her face and calling her a cunt and saying EVERYTHING I thought about it. Maybe I should look her up on facebook and drop her a note? Cant hurt me now.

Ah, this has become quite the employment walk down memory lane.
And so...as I said, I think its time to move onward and upwards from here. I've got enough experience in the medical field at this point to have a sweet looking resume going. Its been a total of 4 years all together. 3 offices in 4 years, but I did a little over a year with Schwartz, and now over 2 years with this OBGYN The radiology experience was a terrible one, at that, and I only use it as a reference to what computer system I leanred while I was there. Other than that, it was worthless. Plus, I dont have a contact there anymore, LIRA came in and fired the entire original open MRI staff. Which is kinda laughable in retrospect.

Blech, an old friend just IMed me...one that I am going to be spending ALL of next weekend with at a wedding in Georgia. I've known him and his wife since I was 11....and I liked both of them a hell of a lot more when I was 11 too, now all they talk about is money, and trips and what they own...its gross.
See....just anothr example of that transitioning as you grow up...except, Im really happy I didnt end up like that. I'd rather have people say they think I'm off my fucking rocker, than that I'm a stuck up prick. Crazy people are more fun anyways.