My heart is breaking for my close family friends. Their son (who is only 18) is dying from Chordoma...benign tumors that grow rapidly around the brain and spinal cord. As of this week, he is no longer able to swallow foods...and as a result, he has made the decision for himself NOT to have a feeding tube put in. He has requested a 'do not resuscitate' order. He told his parents hes ready. To be 18 and ready to die? How terrifying a thought. I remember him as a baby when he was born. My mother and his mother have known eachother since they were kids. And now shes losing her kid. It feels like it goes against everything I know, everything I believe in. I believe in science, and nature and people doing good and being good to one another...and that some way or another, everyone will eventually get whats coming to them...good or bad. Karma? not really, as a dont believe in god, or a higher power...I guess I just hoped that was the way the world worked, that nature would take its course and make things right. Guess not...which I suppose is WHY I've never been a believer. Because, as much as we all want to feel like if we are good people, something will come our way in return, it doesnt usually turn out that way. Sometimes life is full of shit. What could an 18 year old kid have done in his life to deserve an early grave like this? Nothing! This kid worked his ass off in highschool, despite the fact that he had this illness...took several months off from school to be home schooled in a hospital bed in Boston...and STILL gradutated at the top of his class...on time! For what? What was it worth? He got into a great college, that he will never get to go to, because instead...hes going to die at home on Long Island He'll never have the chance to go out and act like a drunken fool, to get laid at a party and perhaps regret it the next day, to fail a course, to meet a girl and fall in love....he'll never get to experience the silly things we take for granted each day...because in the next two weeks, he will die...in his bed, at home...with his parents staying by his side every single moment. For what? thats all I keep asking myself. Whats the point of it all? Are we learning some grand lesson from all of this? I've learned enough lessons to last me a lifetime. I've been through cancer in my family 3 times! Divorce! Car accidents, Brain injuries, murder suicides! And wheres the lesson? what will his family and close friends have to gain from this experience of watching their loved one die a young death? NOTHING.
When I was very young, young enough not to take it seriously...my mother taught me the most important lesson I could have ever learned. LIFE IS NOT FAIR. Thats what she told me, and she made sure to tell me when I was young. And at that young age I laughed. But its not funny. In fact, theres nothing funny about it...because its completely true. Bad people have good things happen to them, good people have bad things happen to them, bad experiences dont neccessarily carry a life lesson with them, and good experiences dont always last. Maybe thats what we have to really learn...all of us. Life simply isnt fair, and theres nothing that you or I can do to change that. We can look for the lessons, look for the words to heal ourselves and others, but sometimes they just dont exist. Nothing is there to be learned, and nothing is there to be said. In all reality, whomever was the first to say it may have really hit the nail on the head....Life's a bitch, and then you die.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Things I'd like to forget
Lots of people have a strong connection between scent and memory, I however, have a strong connection between songs and memory. Sometimes it can be a good thing, suddenly being put right back where I was at the exact moment I hard that song 10 years ago. But most of the time its a curse. Nothing is worse than being out somewhere enjoying yourself, and suddenly, without warning...a song comes on that reminds you of a place, a time, a person...that you have no interest in thinking of.
In the past 24-48 hours, I have experienced this several times. So to pay homage to my former ghosts, here is a list of songs that have a negative connotation in my mind.
1. Bed of Roses by Bon Jovi
2. Anything from John Mayers first two albums, including random live recordings early in his career
3. Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley
4. Anything by The Tragically Hip
5. Loser by Three Doors Down
6. Waste by Phish
7. Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer
And many more!
Ha, of course most of the issues I have with my music memories are rooted in the men I have dated/hooked up with in my past. But nothing kills a mood like being with the person you're currently dating, having a great night out...and BAM! one of those songs comes on. This is not to say I don't have some amazing memories connected to music. I've got great memories of Dave Matthews Band from Highschool, Billy Joel from my childhood, Ludacris from college. Its just funny, because all of the songs that connect me to good memories from my past all have nothing to do with the men of my past, in fact-they all remind me of the good times I've had with girlfriends and family.
There's also plenty of songs that I have great memories of things my current boyfriend and I have done...I just hope that one day I dont have to block those from my mind as well!
In the past 24-48 hours, I have experienced this several times. So to pay homage to my former ghosts, here is a list of songs that have a negative connotation in my mind.
1. Bed of Roses by Bon Jovi
2. Anything from John Mayers first two albums, including random live recordings early in his career
3. Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley
4. Anything by The Tragically Hip
5. Loser by Three Doors Down
6. Waste by Phish
7. Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer
And many more!
Ha, of course most of the issues I have with my music memories are rooted in the men I have dated/hooked up with in my past. But nothing kills a mood like being with the person you're currently dating, having a great night out...and BAM! one of those songs comes on. This is not to say I don't have some amazing memories connected to music. I've got great memories of Dave Matthews Band from Highschool, Billy Joel from my childhood, Ludacris from college. Its just funny, because all of the songs that connect me to good memories from my past all have nothing to do with the men of my past, in fact-they all remind me of the good times I've had with girlfriends and family.
There's also plenty of songs that I have great memories of things my current boyfriend and I have done...I just hope that one day I dont have to block those from my mind as well!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Puberty is a bitch
You know what I just noticed? My Hunter rainboots have a "Property of:______" thing inside of them, on the inside of the leg. Thats cute, I never noticed it before. Its not the only thing I've noticed lately. A lot of things are "irking" me lately. I'm not sure "irk" is the correct word...I don't know, things seem to be getting under my skin a bit. Maybe I need to up my Effexor dosage? For instance...all of these bullies and kids committing suicide and stuff, its really pissing me off. Not because I don't think it should be making news...it should, and it SHOULDNT have taken this long to come to light in the public eye. Whats bothering me is that no one did something sooner! Where was the public, and the teachers and the speakers against bullying when I was young? When I wold get off the bus in 7th grade and come home and cry and tell myself how ugly I was. Where was everyone then?! I mean, sure, I had my parents...but anyone who's been bullied knows that telling your parents about it isnt easy. How come no one was talking to my nasty-ass fellow classmates that its not nice to make fun of someones acne, or braces, or awful oily hair?! (Hey man, puberty was rough on me!)
And where was everyone when my sister was cutting herself because she was so tourmented by kids at school? What about 5th grade when the boys in class chanted that she was a "man, man, man, man!", how come the teacher did nothing but chuckle? My kid sister cut herself till she'd bleed! Why? I may never know. I can remember some occasions where I felt awful, maybe not to the extent she felt it...but I felt awful enough to look at myself in the mirror, tears streaming down my face because of the mean things people said to me, and I would smack myself in the face for being so 'ugly'. Sometimes I'd take my hair brush and push it down into my scalp really hard while brushing my hair, cause I felt like I deserved it for having such ugly hair. But I didnt cut myself. Thing have got to be pretty dark to go cutting yourself, right?
Life is weird. I think all of this bullying being in the news is important, but at the same time I feel somewhat resentful of it. Like, howcome no one stood up for me and my sis? And believe me, I didnt even have it that bad...there were others who had it worse than I did in my 7th grade classes. And I remember sometimes breathing a sigh of relief when they'd be picked on instead of me...maybe I could sit in the backround and go un-noticed. It wasnt all as bad as I make it out to be now. Really, it came down to a couple of really mean boys who made fun of my bad skin. But it scarred me pretty bad (not the acne, the bullying). I can only imagine how it feels to be gay and in 7th grade now...I probably would have done something drastic if it had been me in these kids shoes. I would have hurt myself, or someone else...being in the mental state I was in at that age. All those hormones going insane is hard enough on a kid, cruelty to top it off is torture.
I get angry when I hear these stories. Just today a couple Hicksville kids were arrested for beating up a boy on their bus because they thought he was gay. What has the world come to? Where are these peoples parents, and why arent they being taught to accept others as they are, as they look, as they sound, as they dress?
I'll say this, puberty is a bitch...its a bitch for most of us. Very few of us make it through puberty without acne, or weird body changes, or bad hair and glasses and braces. But each of us is just an ugly duckling...waiting to turn into a swan...thats what my mom always told me when I was a kid. Turns out it was true, it may have seemed harsh then, but now I'm happy she told me that, cause she was right.
Besides, one day we all have the pleasure of seeing karma come around...the kid who tortured me most in middle school....hes fat now...and his sister was murdered a few years ago. NOT SAYING I WISHED THAT ON HIM OR ANYTHING! I DIDNT. But like I said...karma. Do unto others as you'd have done to you.
And where was everyone when my sister was cutting herself because she was so tourmented by kids at school? What about 5th grade when the boys in class chanted that she was a "man, man, man, man!", how come the teacher did nothing but chuckle? My kid sister cut herself till she'd bleed! Why? I may never know. I can remember some occasions where I felt awful, maybe not to the extent she felt it...but I felt awful enough to look at myself in the mirror, tears streaming down my face because of the mean things people said to me, and I would smack myself in the face for being so 'ugly'. Sometimes I'd take my hair brush and push it down into my scalp really hard while brushing my hair, cause I felt like I deserved it for having such ugly hair. But I didnt cut myself. Thing have got to be pretty dark to go cutting yourself, right?
Life is weird. I think all of this bullying being in the news is important, but at the same time I feel somewhat resentful of it. Like, howcome no one stood up for me and my sis? And believe me, I didnt even have it that bad...there were others who had it worse than I did in my 7th grade classes. And I remember sometimes breathing a sigh of relief when they'd be picked on instead of me...maybe I could sit in the backround and go un-noticed. It wasnt all as bad as I make it out to be now. Really, it came down to a couple of really mean boys who made fun of my bad skin. But it scarred me pretty bad (not the acne, the bullying). I can only imagine how it feels to be gay and in 7th grade now...I probably would have done something drastic if it had been me in these kids shoes. I would have hurt myself, or someone else...being in the mental state I was in at that age. All those hormones going insane is hard enough on a kid, cruelty to top it off is torture.
I get angry when I hear these stories. Just today a couple Hicksville kids were arrested for beating up a boy on their bus because they thought he was gay. What has the world come to? Where are these peoples parents, and why arent they being taught to accept others as they are, as they look, as they sound, as they dress?
I'll say this, puberty is a bitch...its a bitch for most of us. Very few of us make it through puberty without acne, or weird body changes, or bad hair and glasses and braces. But each of us is just an ugly duckling...waiting to turn into a swan...thats what my mom always told me when I was a kid. Turns out it was true, it may have seemed harsh then, but now I'm happy she told me that, cause she was right.
Besides, one day we all have the pleasure of seeing karma come around...the kid who tortured me most in middle school....hes fat now...and his sister was murdered a few years ago. NOT SAYING I WISHED THAT ON HIM OR ANYTHING! I DIDNT. But like I said...karma. Do unto others as you'd have done to you.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The 30 year old virgin
Tonight I went out to dinner with all of my boyfriends friends for a birthday. I'd say the ages of people at the table were from 24-30. One of my boyfriends "aquaintences" is a 30 year old virgin...and sadly for him, he doesnt even remotely hold a match to Steve Carells character in the 40 yr old virgin. Hes got a terrible, very insecure personality. I guess no one was ever nice enough to him to feel particularly good about himself. My boyfriends friends all make fun of this guy...rip on him constantly...my boyfriend definitely doesnt do it nearly as much as the other guys. Probably that inner voice telling him that hes a good person and should treat others nicely....i suffer from that voice too-which is why i don't really say anything to this 30 yr old virgin.
But I have to say, he sets himself up for this crap. He actually confided in these guys that he humps his pillow...and then demostrated it for them-which opened him up to a whole new planet of ridicule. Then recently he apparently used an escort service/prostitute to lose his virginity. This guy actually paid a woman to de-flower him....and the idiot couldnt get it up. He blamed it on the fact that she wasnt pretty...but he had his pick of 10 girls and picked the one he found most attractive. WHY IS HE TELLING US THIS?! He tells everyone EVERYTHING about his personal life, and then complains when they harass him for it.
Hes a 30 yr old virgin and lives with his parents...yikes!!
The next time anyone on earth ever feels bad about themselves, they just should think about this guys life and then they'll feel way better.
If I was still a virgin at my age [27], I'd probably cry myself to sleep everynight.
Nah, not this girl...no virgin here. In fact, sadly...I was in a big hurry to rid myself of my virginity to the first asshole who came along. 2 weeks before my 18th birthday, I decided I had enough of being a virgin...I couldnt go to college being a virgin...that seemed like an impossible option to me. I'm not sure what the hurry was, maybe I thought if I had sex with this asshole I was hanging out with, maybe he'd WANT to be my boyfriend...maybe he'd feel guilty and HAVE TO be my boyfriend? Nah...turns out neither of those things were the case...turns out the only thing he wanted or had to do was leave...immediately after he fucked me. Annnnd boy did that FUCK ME UP. It took a couple years to figure out how to be a normal girl after the mindfuck this guy gave me. For a little while I tried his method when I got up to college....maybe if I fuck'em and leave'em, they'll fall desperately in love with me and want me more. It worked ever so slightly at first on one or two...but really it just got me the reputation of being a whore...and boy did some guys take advantage of that. I mean, I did too...don't get me wrong. I was a sex maniac in college. I seriously think I set masturbation records too. There were Saturdays and Sundays up in the frozen tundra where I went to school, where I wouldnt leave my dorm room allllll day (I didnt have a roomate). I would just chill out and have a full day of masturbation....from the moment i woke up, till i went to sleep.
So the question? Who's really crazy? The 30 yr old virgin, or the girl who at one point in time was trying to get to bang 30 guys in my lifetime?!?!?! (yes, seriously...I set a number goal for myself. I didnt get to my goal, but it was like a fucked up game for me for a little while)
Ah, fuck it....HES more crazy. I've settled down...and hes 30 and cant even jump start his love/sex life.
Poor guy...life is funny
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Life, Love and Lacking
Just the other day I wrote a verrryyyy long and detailed blog entry about my fantastic and life changing trip to the west coast. As I was just finishing up the entry, my computer froze...I had to re-start and I lost the whole thing.
So I did what any normal girl would do...I threw a psycho fit, kicked the desk, screamed a bit...and then pulled it back together, bit my lip..and got over it.
So I waited about a week or so before I could return here without the painful memories of my lost entry.
Well, here I am. I'm not going to detail my trip...I did that already, and it was lost...not gonna go there again. I will say that it connected me to a creative and more spiritual side of myself. I've never seen anything quite like the rock formations on the west coast in nothern Cali. I've never seen 100-300 foot sand dunes before (which we went boarding down! Sand boarding is the new black). I saw seals and birds, and ate crab just about everywhere we went. We walked up and down the steep hills of SanFrancisco, and hiked up mountains. I saw rivers and waterfalls and bays and the ocean...but never like I've seen them before. It was a different kind of beauty. Not like the usual...which is tropical island beauty. This was rugged beauty. The kinds of things that are just there....and have been there for thousands and thousands of years...without question. I fell in love with the west coast. Even Oregon...Portland is an amazing city...very cool place.
I miss it all already. Its so different there than in NYC. In New York its a rat race, whoever can step on enough people on their way to the top wins! But on the West Coast...its all focused on local art, local farms, local music, local cuisine, local vineyards and breweries, local designers. Its such a simpler way of life. A REAL way of life. People support eachother and want to see others around them succeed.
Anyways. I'm no longer working in an OBGYN. It was mainly mutual. I told them I was completely miserable there and that I dreaded waking up in the mornings to show up there and be treated like I was born into a different caste. And on their side, they seemed just about sick of my outspoken lifestyle, and the fact that I could easily get the other girls in the office to rally behind me when it came to making decisions. Well, after I left...the girls DID in fact rally behind me. Aside from myself...they lost 3 other girls within 2 weeks of my departure. Seems like a message to me. Maybe those two bitchy doctors should pull their heads out of their deep dark cavernous asses and realize that they need to treat their staff better, treat people as equals, thank people for their help. GIVE RAISES that arent just 50 cents on the hour! What a slap in the face! I'd bash the whole practice right here, if I didnt feel I had to worry about being sued for it. Lets just leave it at this. The doctor who owns the practice cant be bothered to remember the names of the patients she delievered just hours earlier, she left behind 'products of conception' when doing a delivery AND a termination! And shes ALSO left gauze behind in patients. In my opinion, maybe the old bitch should retire before she gets sued by one of her patients. SICK SICK office. Bad energy all around.
Surprisingly...Danielle didnt follow me....she complains about how much she still hates it there, and how awful it is, and how the doctors are assholes...but shes still there. She drive 40 min everyday to go to work there after school. Amazing...I wouldve spit in their faces a long time ago if I were her.
Anyways...on the topic of love and lust...I'm trying to cope with the fact that EVERY single weekend, someone else on facebook gets married or engaged. I suppose that one of these days it will be my turn, but with each passing 'I do', I become more and more dishartened. Allow me to quote one of my favorite movies..."when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." ~When Harry Met Sally. Its true...if you are with someone, and you know you love that person, and you know theres no one out there who could possibly make you happier, then why wait? If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it, right Beyonce?! I just don't get it, an engagement doesnt mean that a wedding will be happening within months, or even a year. Engagement is the best part of everything. Its the time when you get to climb up on a mountain and say HEY WORLD! YA SEE THIS?! YOU SEE THIS PERSON RIGHT HERE?! I LOVE HIM/HER AND I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH HIM/HER!!!!! Why wait on that? My other half blames the wait on financial reasons. He worries that I'm not going to be financially responsible, or that we wont be able to afford a great wedding, or that if he proposes NOW...and then quits his job...then what? I say SO WHAT?! If he proposes now, will love me any less 6 months from now? If we've made it together for over 3 years and been really really happy, isnt that enough? I admit, yes, I enjoy shopping...but I'd much rather save up for a life changing experience-like a wedding...if only he'd give me reason to. I just really really don't want to be one of those girls who are in a great relationship for 5, 6, 7 years and still have no ring to show for it...nothing solid saying 'its me and you...forever'.
Maybe its silly, lots of girls these days dont even want to get married, I use to be one of them. Maybe it was because I saw everything that could go wrong in a marriage by looking at my parents? I don't know. But somewhere between my last (awful) boyfriend and my current (wonderful) boyfriend, something changed...something clicked in my head. I want to get married, I want that title of husband and wife...forever. I think its because I really want to be with him forever. And for the first time in my life, I've found a guy who sticks around, who loves me the way I deserve to be loved. I see his parents, they're that way. They love eachother, they spend most of their time together. Thats a whole different ball of wax from the way my family was. My father couldnt find enough excuses to keep himself away from my mom. And I guess if thats what I was seeing while I was with my last boyfriend, then I probably had good reason not to be interested in marriage. But now I see how relationships CAN be, when two people really care about eachother, and really have things in common, and make eachother laugh, and who want to travel together and try new things together. I guess I didnt realize that real love could last between two people until I got together with my boyfriend.
I lust after Simon G. engagement rings!
We've just booked a cruise out of San Juan PR for the first two weeks of January. We're gonna do 3 nights in Florida before we head down there so my boyfriend can see his bestfriend from his childhood and his 98 year old grandmother.
Speaking of grandmothers...I just saw mine this past friday. She did a real bang-up job upsetting my mother about my dad and their divorce...saying something about how my mother, myself and my sister HAVE TO respect my father since he was the money earner in the family for a long time. My mother started yelling about how respect isnt just given, its earned. I threw back something about how my father went on vacation after I was released from the ICU after having a brain injury in a car accident and how he LOST my respect after he pulled that bullshit. My grandmother just wouldnt let up...on and on about how he deserves respect. Sorry granny...it takes more than money to gain my respect. You have to be a REAL man and a REAL father to gain any of that.
So that was a lovely little visit from her.
Anyways....alls well that ends well.
So I did what any normal girl would do...I threw a psycho fit, kicked the desk, screamed a bit...and then pulled it back together, bit my lip..and got over it.
So I waited about a week or so before I could return here without the painful memories of my lost entry.
Well, here I am. I'm not going to detail my trip...I did that already, and it was lost...not gonna go there again. I will say that it connected me to a creative and more spiritual side of myself. I've never seen anything quite like the rock formations on the west coast in nothern Cali. I've never seen 100-300 foot sand dunes before (which we went boarding down! Sand boarding is the new black). I saw seals and birds, and ate crab just about everywhere we went. We walked up and down the steep hills of SanFrancisco, and hiked up mountains. I saw rivers and waterfalls and bays and the ocean...but never like I've seen them before. It was a different kind of beauty. Not like the usual...which is tropical island beauty. This was rugged beauty. The kinds of things that are just there....and have been there for thousands and thousands of years...without question. I fell in love with the west coast. Even Oregon...Portland is an amazing city...very cool place.
I miss it all already. Its so different there than in NYC. In New York its a rat race, whoever can step on enough people on their way to the top wins! But on the West Coast...its all focused on local art, local farms, local music, local cuisine, local vineyards and breweries, local designers. Its such a simpler way of life. A REAL way of life. People support eachother and want to see others around them succeed.
Anyways. I'm no longer working in an OBGYN. It was mainly mutual. I told them I was completely miserable there and that I dreaded waking up in the mornings to show up there and be treated like I was born into a different caste. And on their side, they seemed just about sick of my outspoken lifestyle, and the fact that I could easily get the other girls in the office to rally behind me when it came to making decisions. Well, after I left...the girls DID in fact rally behind me. Aside from myself...they lost 3 other girls within 2 weeks of my departure. Seems like a message to me. Maybe those two bitchy doctors should pull their heads out of their deep dark cavernous asses and realize that they need to treat their staff better, treat people as equals, thank people for their help. GIVE RAISES that arent just 50 cents on the hour! What a slap in the face! I'd bash the whole practice right here, if I didnt feel I had to worry about being sued for it. Lets just leave it at this. The doctor who owns the practice cant be bothered to remember the names of the patients she delievered just hours earlier, she left behind 'products of conception' when doing a delivery AND a termination! And shes ALSO left gauze behind in patients. In my opinion, maybe the old bitch should retire before she gets sued by one of her patients. SICK SICK office. Bad energy all around.
Surprisingly...Danielle didnt follow me....she complains about how much she still hates it there, and how awful it is, and how the doctors are assholes...but shes still there. She drive 40 min everyday to go to work there after school. Amazing...I wouldve spit in their faces a long time ago if I were her.
Anyways...on the topic of love and lust...I'm trying to cope with the fact that EVERY single weekend, someone else on facebook gets married or engaged. I suppose that one of these days it will be my turn, but with each passing 'I do', I become more and more dishartened. Allow me to quote one of my favorite movies..."when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." ~When Harry Met Sally. Its true...if you are with someone, and you know you love that person, and you know theres no one out there who could possibly make you happier, then why wait? If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it, right Beyonce?! I just don't get it, an engagement doesnt mean that a wedding will be happening within months, or even a year. Engagement is the best part of everything. Its the time when you get to climb up on a mountain and say HEY WORLD! YA SEE THIS?! YOU SEE THIS PERSON RIGHT HERE?! I LOVE HIM/HER AND I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH HIM/HER!!!!! Why wait on that? My other half blames the wait on financial reasons. He worries that I'm not going to be financially responsible, or that we wont be able to afford a great wedding, or that if he proposes NOW...and then quits his job...then what? I say SO WHAT?! If he proposes now, will love me any less 6 months from now? If we've made it together for over 3 years and been really really happy, isnt that enough? I admit, yes, I enjoy shopping...but I'd much rather save up for a life changing experience-like a wedding...if only he'd give me reason to. I just really really don't want to be one of those girls who are in a great relationship for 5, 6, 7 years and still have no ring to show for it...nothing solid saying 'its me and you...forever'.
Maybe its silly, lots of girls these days dont even want to get married, I use to be one of them. Maybe it was because I saw everything that could go wrong in a marriage by looking at my parents? I don't know. But somewhere between my last (awful) boyfriend and my current (wonderful) boyfriend, something changed...something clicked in my head. I want to get married, I want that title of husband and wife...forever. I think its because I really want to be with him forever. And for the first time in my life, I've found a guy who sticks around, who loves me the way I deserve to be loved. I see his parents, they're that way. They love eachother, they spend most of their time together. Thats a whole different ball of wax from the way my family was. My father couldnt find enough excuses to keep himself away from my mom. And I guess if thats what I was seeing while I was with my last boyfriend, then I probably had good reason not to be interested in marriage. But now I see how relationships CAN be, when two people really care about eachother, and really have things in common, and make eachother laugh, and who want to travel together and try new things together. I guess I didnt realize that real love could last between two people until I got together with my boyfriend.
I lust after Simon G. engagement rings!
We've just booked a cruise out of San Juan PR for the first two weeks of January. We're gonna do 3 nights in Florida before we head down there so my boyfriend can see his bestfriend from his childhood and his 98 year old grandmother.
Speaking of grandmothers...I just saw mine this past friday. She did a real bang-up job upsetting my mother about my dad and their divorce...saying something about how my mother, myself and my sister HAVE TO respect my father since he was the money earner in the family for a long time. My mother started yelling about how respect isnt just given, its earned. I threw back something about how my father went on vacation after I was released from the ICU after having a brain injury in a car accident and how he LOST my respect after he pulled that bullshit. My grandmother just wouldnt let up...on and on about how he deserves respect. Sorry granny...it takes more than money to gain my respect. You have to be a REAL man and a REAL father to gain any of that.
So that was a lovely little visit from her.
Anyways....alls well that ends well.
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