Puberty is a bitch

You know what I just noticed? My Hunter rainboots have a "Property of:______" thing inside of them, on the inside of the leg. Thats cute, I never noticed it before. Its not the only thing I've noticed lately. A lot of things are "irking" me lately. I'm not sure "irk" is the correct word...I don't know, things seem to be getting under my skin a bit. Maybe I need to up my Effexor dosage? For instance...all of these bullies and kids committing suicide and stuff, its really pissing me off. Not because I don't think it should be making news...it should, and it SHOULDNT have taken this long to come to light in the public eye. Whats bothering me is that no one did something sooner! Where was the public, and the teachers and the speakers against bullying when I was young? When I wold get off the bus in 7th grade and come home and cry and tell myself how ugly I was. Where was everyone then?! I mean, sure, I had my parents...but anyone who's been bullied knows that telling your parents about it isnt easy. How come no one was talking to my nasty-ass fellow classmates that its not nice to make fun of someones acne, or braces, or awful oily hair?! (Hey man, puberty was rough on me!)
And where was everyone when my sister was cutting herself because she was so tourmented by kids at school? What about 5th grade when the boys in class chanted that she was a "man, man, man, man!", how come the teacher did nothing but chuckle? My kid sister cut herself till she'd bleed! Why? I may never know. I can remember some occasions where I felt awful, maybe not to the extent she felt it...but I felt awful enough to look at myself in the mirror, tears streaming down my face because of the mean things people said to me, and I would smack myself in the face for being so 'ugly'. Sometimes I'd take my hair brush and push it down into my scalp really hard while brushing my hair, cause I felt like I deserved it for having such ugly hair. But I didnt cut myself. Thing have got to be pretty dark to go cutting yourself, right?
Life is weird. I think all of this bullying being in the news is important, but at the same time I feel somewhat resentful of it. Like, howcome no one stood up for me and my sis? And believe me, I didnt even have it that bad...there were others who had it worse than I did in my 7th grade classes. And I remember sometimes breathing a sigh of relief when they'd be picked on instead of me...maybe I could sit in the backround and go un-noticed. It wasnt all as bad as I make it out to be now. Really, it came down to a couple of really mean boys who made fun of my bad skin. But it scarred me pretty bad (not the acne, the bullying). I can only imagine how it feels to be gay and in 7th grade now...I probably would have done something drastic if it had been me in these kids shoes. I would have hurt myself, or someone else...being in the mental state I was in at that age. All those hormones going insane is hard enough on a kid, cruelty to top it off is torture.
I get angry when I hear these stories. Just today a couple Hicksville kids were arrested for beating up a boy on their bus because they thought he was gay. What has the world come to? Where are these peoples parents, and why arent they being taught to accept others as they are, as they look, as they sound, as they dress?
I'll say this, puberty is a bitch...its a bitch for most of us. Very few of us make it through puberty without acne, or weird body changes, or bad hair and glasses and braces. But each of us is just an ugly duckling...waiting to turn into a swan...thats what my mom always told me when I was a kid. Turns out it was true, it may have seemed harsh then, but now I'm happy she told me that, cause she was right.
Besides, one day we all have the pleasure of seeing karma come around...the kid who tortured me most in middle school....hes fat now...and his sister was murdered a few years ago. NOT SAYING I WISHED THAT ON HIM OR ANYTHING! I DIDNT. But like I said...karma. Do unto others as you'd have done to you.