New Years Eve in Florida

Alright, time to get back into the swing of things. Lets get serious now. I'm unemployed and just returned home this past friday from a 2 week vacation...if I can't find a job, I might as well write...right?

First off, this being part "fashion blog", I suppose I should blog about lastnights fashion on the red carpet at the Golden Globes. truth be told, I forgot the Golden Globes were on and ended up falling asleep during the Jets game and waking up around 10:30, just in time to catch the end of the Globes...so I missed all things red carpet...but like a good little fashionista, I checked up on everything I missed online.
Fashion favorite of the night? EMMA STONE in Calvin Klein Collection!

Actually.... Emma Stone is on a fashion ROLE! Did anyone catch her this past weekend at the critics choice awards?! BALENCIAGA!?!?!? She killed it!

Anyways...it appears I may be girl crushing on Emma Stone...shes what? Like 20 years old? I'm almost 8 years older than her....scary! When the fuck did I get so old? Wasn't it just yesterday that I was 20? Using fake ID's to get into bars. Now I'm lucky if someone asks for my ID. BLECH! I'd rather not think about it!
Lets take a brief moment (and I mean BRIEF because theres no need to linger on it) to notice Emma's weight loss...and her fake tan....and her new blonde hair. Reminds me of Lindsay Lohan. But hopefully thats where the comparison ends. Emma is a stunning girl, and Lindsay is a messy one.

Okay. So onto our trip.
It was 2 weeks long, so I probably wont get too far today talking about it.
Dec 31-My boyfriend and I flew out of JFK airport to Ft Lauderdale and rented a car and headed to Boca Raton to visit our grandparents and his bestfriend who was visiting down there as well...we were surprising his bestfriend and he didnt know we were coming. We ha a pretty hectic day..surprising the best friend, saying hi to both our grandmothers....I think we made our way to every corner of Boca that day. Then headed back to my grandmothers to get ready for New Years Eve festivities....in Ft Lauderdale (yea, we flew into Ft Lauderdale, came up to Boca to see people and drop off our stuff at my Grandmothers, and then peaced out and went BACK to Ft Lauderdale for the night)...HECTIC HECTIC. My boyfriends bestfriend and his wife came along with us to meet up with my boyfriends college friends. We all went down there....went out to dinner (I think there were 8 of us), we finished dinner just shortly before midnight...around 11:45...and ran outside (mmmm 75 degrees at night in the middle of winter...gotta love Florida!) to watch the ball drop of this big flat screen that was in the middle of this casino place....te whole thing is hard to explain, espcially because I dont know the name of the place we were at. But we watched the ball drop and my boyfriend and I FINALLY kissed at the moment it hit midnight...this was our first New Years Kiss that was actually ON TIME in our whole relationship. One year he got stuck at the car waiting for drinks, the next year AGAIN he was stuck at a bar getting a drink and was about 30 seconds late getting to me....and last year he was in our kitchen pouring shots with his friends and came into the livingroom 30 seconds late to kiss me....again. HMMMM, yea......I guess we know where my boyfriends priorities are at.
But anyways, we got our kiss at the very moment the ball dropped. Then we headed into a bar and had some drinks till around 1:30am, thank god others were getting tired....cause I was completely wiped out and my boyfriend probably could have kept going all night. So happily we headed back to his college friends apartment (ahem, hes married and met his girlfriend a whole YEAR after me and my boyfriend met! Grrr). We all crashed there, and then woke up super early (8am) to head back north to Boca.

Jan 1-We spent most of the day by the pool in my grandmothers gated community. It was nice. Started working a bit on my tan. Got a base tan, relaxed, napped, etc. That night we went out to dinner with my and, uncle and cousin to a french restaurant. We had a great dinner, except that I had to shit my brains out in the restaurant bathroom....luckily no one else was in there at the time (hey, when nature calls, right?). After dinner we went back to my grandmothers and my boyfriend and I went out with a bottle of wine to the pool and hot tub. We spent about an hour or so out there....it was a warm beautiful night, you could see all the stars in the sky. My boyfriend went down on me on the side of the hot tub, and I gave him a BJ and we finished up our wine and headed bck to my grandmothers. I woke up at 5:00am that night unable to sleep and heard my grandmothers TV on in the hall, so I went out and sat with her in her bed, just chatting for a bit. It was nice. I finally headed back to bed around 6:00am, when I returned my boyfriend didnt even know I had gone anywhere. Ha.

Jan 2-when we woke up, we spent some time relaxing and then went out to the pool again, it was a fairly relaxed day, which is exactly what we needed. We took my boyfriends grandmother out to dinner for Chinese food that night, then we packed up our stuff and headed BACK to his friends place in Ft Lauderdale to sleep over, since we were leaving on an early flight from Miami the next morning to go to Puerto Rico for our cruise. We got to his friends place and his wife laid out a great spread of fruit, crackers and cheese, we drank some wine and chit chatted till bedtime. We went into the guestroom and finally the excitement began to kick in....In the morning we were leaving for a 12 day cruise of the Southern Carribean! How much more amazing does it get?

I'll stop here and continue later or tomorrow....because the whole day of January 3rd was a huge dissaster area, and my brain isnt quite ready to re-live it yet. Let just say there were a lot of delays, and I did a lot of crying.

Thankful Thanksgiving?

okay...I'm having a moment. An altered state of mind moment, but a milestone moment for me. I want to write about it now so I dont wake up and forget it tomorrow....
Thanksgiving was alright, nothing amazing...especially since it has been minus my fathers presence for a second year now. Thanksgiving hasnt been the same since we did it at my house...with my whole family present, grandparents, cousins, friends etc. I guess I havent been the same either.
Anyways, with Thanksgiving feeling like a bit of a downer after getting home from my aunts tonight, I decided to get a little pick-me-up and smoke some pot. I find that being stoned, drunk or asleep is the best way to deal with depressing things. Anyways, sitting home watching Life on Animal Planet...I watched a full episode and a half when my other half got home from his Thanksgiving with his family. Anyways, he came in and started watching with me, but was clearly exhausted and slipping into a food coma before my eyes. I was half glad...I was too captivated by Life to be much for conversation. Eventually he passed out, and so I watched another 2 hours of it 'alone'-so to speak.

Now what I am about to say, has been my true belief for as long as I can remember...I have always considered myself to be an Athiest. Even as a child being sent to Hebrew School, none of it just ever took-not even the pride in my religion. I just truly didnt believe religion had a place in my life, and all the mumbo jumbo crap that goes with it. I'm a firm believer that man created god, god did not create man. Well, with that said--lets call what I had tonight; a "Spiritual Moment"...and while this may sound silly to others, its actually a really big change for someone like me..............I think I might be Agnostic now. Hah, it sounds so silly to read it....I know, but I just got a vibe tonight watching that show, that maybe I was wrong. Maybe some kind of Deity does exist? Maybe its a 'mother earth' kind of thing, or maybe something entirely larger than that. Something that knows everything to the edge of the universe. I think I just decided tonight, that there's too many beautiful things on this planet not to put some doubt in any "athiests" thoughts. Everything...plants, animals, the ocean, the sky, space...like a huge puzzle of organisms that so perfectly fit together...Life...I mean, how? why, do we have it? Whats the reason for all of this? Who decided to make the sky blue, the trees green, the air? How did it come to be that life is created the way it is? Who picked the features that differ on a man and a woman....why do males have penis'? Why not some other type of reproduction entirely? I dunno, but my mind is changed. Why does each snowflake have a unique shape? Something must have wanted it or willed it to be that way...it cant all really just be a big accident, right?

Maybe I smoked too much pot, I dunno. Something just really seems different to me now-like a presence that was never there before in the back of my mind...not necessarily a 'person' presence, or a being...more of a 'feeling' I guess.
For anyone else I suppose it sounds crazy, someone who has any real ties to their religion or beliefs would wonder how Atheism and Agnosticism even really differ...but believe me they do.
So, yea. That was the big breakthrough. It makes me feel a lot less bitter about the holiday...and actually has made me feel a little more Thankful for it....pun intended.

Alexis the Sexpert

I consider myself to be a "Sexpert". I think if you asked my friends, and even some family members, they would agree with me. I've always been outgoing about sex and sexuality an expressing my sexuality. The words sex, penis, vagina, masturbation, anal, erection, cum...etc...they dont scare me. The weird thing is, they scare a lot of people...so many women refer to their genitals as "down there" or whatever other kinds of terms they've come up with. Down there? If I point down, I'm pointing at my toes...and unless I'm feeling creative, I'm certainly not usually referring to foot fucking (although...I've gone there too). Whats with the sexual taboo, and why hasnt it ever affected me?
When I was 5, I found my dads porn magazines in the downstairs bathroom under a stack of towels in the cabinet, and thus began my life of sexual insanity. I didnt fid Playboy, I found some really dirty stuff...lots of spread vagina, penis insertion, cum shots...for a 5 year old, I guss one could consider this to be traumatic, and maybe it was at the time...but in a big way its helped to form who I am today. First off, I made sure not to keep my discovery a secret (well, I kept it a secret from my parents), I shower ALL of my close girlfriends when I was little...I considered myself a little teacher. Hey! look what I found! THIS is SEX!
I began masturbating around that time too...of course, I didnt know I was masturbating...I just was doing something that felt good. I would take my "blankie", smush it into a ball, stick it between my legs and wiggle around on it. It wasnt until I was sitting watching TV with my dad one day when I was around 5 or 6, and I said "daddy, I like to wiggle onmy blanket like this, it feels good"...his response was that I shouldnt be telling my daddy things like that, daddy doesnt want to know that...So that became my first lesson in shame...this 'good feeling' that I gave myself was to be kept completely to myself...I shouldnt tell daddy, or mommy, or friends, or teachers about it. Lesson learned...until highschool, when my hormones went nutso and I started feeling the need to tell everyone everything that I was doing.
So some of you are probably reading this and thinking that I was a pretty fucked up kid....but to me, sex became such a natural topic...even between me and my close girlfriends when i was a child....we knew a TON more than kids know today at that age...we were sneaky kids who went through our parents drawers and belongings because we wanted to learn as much as we could about the topic. There were 6 of us that would share our little details together, and with each detail we were able to put together more and more of the big picture of SEX. Whether one of us just overheard something in a convo, overheard our parents 'doing it', or found porno...we all put our pieces together in our little clan to try and find out as much as we could. We were 7, 8, 9, 10 years old when we were doing this, and I guess we kinda just assumed that all the other kids in our grade were trying to do the same.
Nowadays, that shit would never fly. My little cousin didnt even know what sex was when she was 9...so I had to be the one to tell her out of fear that she'd go off to sleepaway camp and still think a stork had something to do with it. I think its dangerous....the funny thing is, out of me and my close friends that were sex obsessed as children, none of us ever ended up getting knocked up at a young age, none of us had sex when we were 12...we all waited till our late teens, we all wer smart and safe about it. Knowledge is power, so they say...and I think our knowledge about sex only helped us in life. I think its important for kids to know about that stuff, there'd be a whole lot less teen pregnancies and unwanted babies out there if paents werent so afraid of saying that word around their kids. SEX...S-E-X....say it with me now SEX
Say it loud and proud!.....SEX!!!!!

Ebates, fashion and fun...oh my!

Did anyone catch the insanity this morning on the Today show?...right around 9:30ish this morning they showed a segment called "Jills Steals and Deals". Whats the big deal, right? I mean the Today show does segments like that all the freakin time...WRONG...and boy am I glad I rushed to my computer when I did.
And I definitely got the best deal available...A Gemma Redux Necklace...retail price $300+...I got it this morning for $36 (I think thats what I paid)...massssive discount code...I ordered the Jessica necklace, which I cant seem to find anywhere online at the moment because they completely sold out within an hour or so....so much that they had to change the deal AFTER I already paid for mine...they had such an insane mass of hits to their site and sold out so quickly that they simply had to change it to a 50% off code. Gemma Redux


heres a sample of this designers stuff:


Seriously badass stuff!

In addition to the Gemma Redux jewelry (which by the way...how can you not love?! if you're into rocker chic like I am, its right up your alley!)

They also had a massive sale on these DL 1961 jeans
Sadly, after hours of trying to refresh my page, and only 3 successful attempts to make it into my shopping bag with a pair of $36 jeans...I didnt get to buy anything...their website was screwey...too many people trying to purchase at once...and as soon as I got to my shopping bag, my item would dissapear and get snatched up by someone else (Eventhough the shopping bag said I had 20 minutes to purchase...ahem, SOMEONE needs to work on their websites promises)
Anyways, they had a pretty nutso sale...by 2pm or so, they had just completely removed the sale from the site, probably because they were running out of merchandise.
you can check it out here (eventhough I'm mad at their crappy site for screwing me over and over again this morning. The only thing I like getting screwed by is a man!): DL1961
Anyways, thats not all!
I'm going on a 2 week cruise in January...and if you're not already a member of the US version of . If you dont know about this site...its the last call/clearance site for . Anyways, its over now...but they had a crazy sale too, 80% off their already discounted prices...then today they discounted an additional 20% from that!
So what did I take home? 2 super hot bikinis by the MAJORLY expensive JG4B designer:


I got both bikinis for $50 all together!!!! One was marked all the way down to $20, and the other $30. MADNESS. These two both originally retailed for $175. AMAZINGNESSSS

So it was a happy shopping day in Lexi Land...and I actually managed to send out my resume to 5 or 6 places too. I also applied for a job at Geico...hey! Whats a girl to do? I have to support my shopping habit somehow!

oh wait! thats not all. Heres the best part...after all my shopping madness today, I finally west downstairs to check my mail...sure enough I recieved a check...from Ebates.com!
Are you a member of Ebates? if you're not, you need to be! Everytime you shop online, you just go to their site first....find the link for the store you want to shop at, click it...and proceed shopping as usual! For every single purchase you make, you get a percentage back...and 4 times per year they cut you a check in the mail for what you've made back. Theres no catch, its nuts!
I've included my invite link below for anyone interested...its totally worth checking out, and a great way to make some of your hard earned money back. Today I got a check for $50+!!! Pretty sweet, all that for shopping.
The only downside is wondering how much I had to spend all together in order to get $50 back. Yikes! EBATES.COM

Overall, a good day....especially since I was feeling gross and bloated on my period.
On that note-
Cheers!

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Movie Videos & Movie Scenes at MOVIECLIPS.com

This past week I masturbated to Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It was a particularly lonely Thursday night, I smoked a little pot, watched 500 Days of Summer, my current favorite movie...and masturbated to my current favorite man. I mean, hes got the 'i forgot to brush my hair, but i wake up looking this hot' look, the guy CAN sing, in the movie hes a totally adorable dresser, and in the movie he knows shes 'the one' for him, must be nice to have a guy be that sure about it...of course it doesnt work out for them in the movie, but whatever, and in real life hes a nice Jewish boy from CA...whats not to like?

Am I "The One"?

When my pet rabbit is angry or annoyed, she stomps her hind legs down and it makes a loud thump. She does this when we are in the bedroom and shes out in the hall and knows shes not allowed to come in, she does this whens hes lonely and wants attention, she does this when shes upset or scared. So why is it that a rabbit can express herself with one loud thump, and human beings cant be as forthcoming as a little bunny?
I have spent the past 48 hours crying my eyes out. Well, let me put that differently...I have spent several hours within the past 48 hours crying my eyes out. I've cried myself to sleep 2 nights in a row, I cried m whole car ride home 2 days ago, I cried basically all night last night while watching sappy love movies. I'd say I've spent a good 4-5 hours crying in the past 48 hours...thats a significant chunk, right? I mean, I went out all day yesterday with old camp friends in the city and I didnt cry while I was there...although part of my brain wanted to, but I didnt...so thats good, because who wants to see some chick with black mascara running down her cheeks walking down the streets in Soho?
What do you do when you realize that the life you thought you had, and the places it was headed...may have just been a fantasy? I was better off 1 month ago, before I started asking questions. Why couldnt I just be satisfied with ignorant bliss? I was happy thinking that I knew where my relationship was headed. We have a big 2week cruise coming up in January, and while everyone else's comments havent helped "oh hes definitely going to propose on the cruise", says my mother, friends, extended family, I really started believing it too. Not just because other people thought thats what would happen, but because I thought (and still DO think) that hes 'the one'. Why shouldnt he be? We have similar senses of humor, our personalities click, we can have intelligent conversations, hes been my shoulder to cry on. We love eachother. We love eachother, right? right? dont you love me? dont you think I'm 'the one'? No...not THINK....dont you KNOW I'm 'the one'?! Its been over 3 years, if you dont know now, will you ever know?
I dont think he wants to marry me. I KNOW for sure its not happening on this cruise we're going on, and hes so completely entirely focused on my finances, and my work situation, it seems to be all he cares about. My finances? my employment situation? Is that what most people base an engagement around? And hes critical about it, so critical, and yet he hasnt made a single move in 6 years to change his shitty work situation. I have money, I have money that I have no intention of touching, I'm getting unemployment right now...who cares if I take advantage of the system for a couple of months and relax? Apparently he does. I have every intention of finding work in the coming weeks, months...whenever I can find it, but is it a crime that I relax a bit, spend some time trying to figure out where I want to go next? I mean, hes barely spent more than a couple of minutes in the past 6 years trying to figure out where hes headed next.
It appears that while I may not have a man with commitment issues, I certainly have a man who doesnt know how to make any kind of life changing decisions.
So where did this lead me? An ultimatum. I dont know if he even took it seriously, but I can tell you for sure, I wasnt joking. If I'm not engaged by April, we have to break up. In April we will have been together for over 3 and a half years...if thats not enough time to decide if you want to marry me, nothing will be. I cant wait till its 4, 4 and a half, 5, 5 and a half years so he can make a life changing decision and figure out if he wants to marry me. If he doesnt know by april, he never will...and money, employment, that stuff should matter. If anything, he only has the right to get on my case when/if we get engaged...until then, its MY money, my employment situation. It shouldnt matter to him. It certainly shouldnt be a determining factor if he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. If you love me, really really love me, you'll want to spend the rest of your life with me, PERIOD.
But I dont think he does. The older we get, the faster the days and months fly by. Our cruise will be upon us in no time, it'll fly by in moments, then cliche Valentines day, which I know hes much to creative to propose on, then its March, then April...and thats it. I'm going to be 28 in April, if the man I'm with now, who I've loved more than anything else on this planet for the past 3 years doesnt know what he wants by then....than I need to go out and start looking for someone who will know. I'm getting too old to wait around while everyone else I know is getting engaged, married, having babies. If I'm really not 'the one' for him, then I need to know sooner rather than later, so I can start making some life decisions for myself, if hes too afraid to make any on his own.
I love him, hes the only person I could ever imagine myself with, the only person I've ever met who makes me really happy, the only person who makes me laugh and makes me feel safe. But if he doesnt feel the same...I need to know.
Or maybe I just need to up my meds...who knows?



"So if I stumble
And if I fall
And if I slit now
And loose it all
And if I can't be all that I could be
Will you, will you wait for me"
~Alexi Murdoch

A Flapper Halloween

Alright, enough depressing shit going on here. Lets turn over a new leaf for the month of November.
So how was Halloween? For me it was drunk, yet very fashionable. Taking my outfit inspiration from Boardwalk Empire...I was a flapper...but not a costume store-bought flapper...no no, that just wont due. I'm someone who prefers to work with thats already in my closet to make the perfect Halloween costume. Anyways, I wore a vintage sequin dress with thousands of beads and sequins all over it, and beaded fringes hanging from the bottom. Of course I had to purchase a little flapper style head-piece, since not many people just happen to have one hanging around the house, so I opted for a simple black headban with a large feather sticking out the top, and a beaded silver piece to hold the feather in place. It worked.
The rest of the costume came from closet dell' Alexis as well...thigh high fishnets, with the prettiest lace at the tops (believe it or not, they are my favorite thigh highs i own-and I own lotsssss...being a sex-a-holic, and I purchased them at a Sex store in Portland, OR!!!), a black patent mary-janes by Via Spiga. In fact, the patent maryjanes are a dead-on looalike to the Manolo Mary Janes made famous from Sex and the City. I own a pair of purple Manolo patent Mary Janes, and when I put the Via Spiga ones next to them you'd think they were from the same designer. I wore long satin gloves that almost reached my shoulders, and carried a long cigarette holder. I totally nailed the look!
Here's a little picture of the final product:


Anyways, what else? Looks like fall has arrived in NYC, the weather had been lovely up to late October, and then the day before Halloween weekend we got hit with some major cold. MAJOR BUMMER. I'm still waiting for my boyfriend to agree to move to Florida...a place more affordable, sunny, warm, with palm trees and blue oceans...tick tock tick tock...waiting for him to leave his shitty job...tick tock tick tock. My mother is down in FL right now, looking for possible places to move to...she says shes seen some of the most AMAZING rental condos ever...and for the most insane pices...EVER...3 floor condo with 2 balconies off the back, with a garage, washer dryer, in a gated community with pool, tennis courts and gym....$1350 per month!!!!! We're paying $1300 per month right now to live in a 2 bedroom that was built in 1935, and we have to deal with listening to the most psychotic old landlords downstairs screaming "FUCK YOU" at one another ove and over again, all day long! I hate our landlords....what I would give to escape to Florida and live in a place like what my mom has been looking at. Shes currently living in a tiny 2 bedroom in a 2 family house with a bitchy, shitty landlord on the other side who cant bother to get the heat turned on during freezing cold days. And she pays $1650 for that abuse.
Get the hell outta Dodge, thats what I say. What could possibly be bad about moving to a warm sunny location, with affordable rent...AND affordable places to buy in the future?! A place to swim everyday? Tennis? balconies to enjoy the sun? Whats wrong with all that? I dont think there's anything wrong with it....but ask my boyfriend, cause hes the only thing I'm waiting on to pick up my shit and move. We'd be healthier, more active people down there...I know it, he knows it, my mother knows it, half my famiyl who has moved to Florida all seem to know it...and half of HIS friends who have moved to Florida seem to know it as well...so how long till my other-half clues in?!
Maybe after our 2 week cruise in January, to all of these tropical islands...maybe that will be the final push....probably the day we arrive back home in New York...when its gray and cold, thats when he'll clue in...look where we WERE in the tropical bliss of the south....and look what we get to return to!
We shall see